I have finished reading David DiSalvo's "Brain Chnager," a book based on scientific research that teaches us how adapting can change our life! Change your thinking and change you life is what this book is largely about.
It's a fascinating read, and because it's based on research in cognitive psychology, neuroscience, behavioural economics, and communications, it is also a very practical read.
As I read through, I highlighted areas and added sticky notes to the little bits and bites that I wanted to find easily for more thought. One of these deals with how we think about things - our "narrative script." External scripting comes from employers, peers, parents and so on; internal scripts run through our minds as we process daily events. We tend to internalize external scripts, for example, when your employer remarks about your report not being quite to the quality expected (it may feed your feelings of inadequacy), when your friend asks if you stopped going to the gym (you feel unattractive), and when your mother asks why you haven't been over in three weeks (good old guilt!).
We interpret and internalize, adapt or don't, and thus wrestle with decisions and choices.
Here's a paragraph that hits home for the topic of employment:
The fact that our empoyer wants us to become more extroverted doesn't mean that we'll pragmatically adapt to meet that demand. Perhaps we will, but perhaps we won't. Perhaps, instead, the true meaning of pragmatically adapting in this case is to realize that we are in the wrong job. That may sound extreme, but think of how often we try to cram ourselves into a "scripted" situation that just doesn't work for us. Consider, for example, the person who values authenticity and straightforward dealing, but works for an organization that only pays lip service to those values. If we force-adapt to those situations over and over again, we'll eventually burn out. Aside from the psychological toll this takes, it could result in losing the job anyway.
Reminds me of a job I had where I was asked to enter an incorrect start date for a new employee's insurance policy. I refused. Two months later I was fired.Wasn't a good fit.
Also reminds me of something I read about neuroses - these arise when we are not in alignment with our own nature. Not a healthy place to be!
I have served clients who boldly put their true nature "out there." Their resumes proclaimed their recognition as a "communication queen," as a guru, a thought leader and other bold titles. They owned their true nature. Guess what? They land amazing jobs because authenticity hooks you up with the right environment and with an employer that values what/who you are.
- boldly proclaiming my goal to shake up recruitment with resumes that are not cookie-cutter and interview answers that smack not of canned responses, but of authentic self-assurance! - Stephanie